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                  <td height="28" align="center" valign="bottom" background="../../../images/xiaoyuanss.gif"><font color="D02C78" size="3"><strong>失爱者如何消除泄恨心理 </strong></font></td>
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                    > <a href="../../../../index.htm">校园</a> > 正文</font> 2005-8-26 15:41:22 <font color="#AD0E22">新浪</font> 
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            <span class="cn2">强怎么也没想到，原本与他相亲相爱的妻子在结婚不到两年就与一港商相好了。离婚后，他在日记上写下了一句话：“我不是生来让别人玩弄的，必须学会玩弄别人！”<BR>　　<BR>　　被他逮住的第一只“猎物”叫小梅，一位酷似他妻子的公司秘书。一个周末的晚上，俩人尽情狂舞后，借着夜宵酒精的作用，被甜言蜜语哄得云里雾里的小梅，欣然在强的公寓内献出了她的贞操。不久，强又瞄上了一名在卫校读书的女孩子，在那名女孩子租住的小屋里，他强行占有了她。数次得手后，强得意非凡，报复女人的欲望有增无减，他又将目光投向了本单位的小琴……<BR>　　<BR>　　同事曾劝过强要以事业为重，不要把自己名声给搞坏了，万一被人告发，后悔就来不及了。但强却不以为然，他说：“女人都不是好东西，她们让我痛苦，我也要让她们难受。”<BR>　　<BR>　　<B>心理解码：</B><BR>　　<BR>　　强的心理机制出现了障碍。这是因离婚造成的心理失衡，这种心理失衡是由心理防御机制上被称之为“转移作用”所致。离婚引起的情绪反应主要是痛苦和烦恼，如果处理不当就会陷入迷惘、绝望或轻生；有的人还会产生“以牙还牙”的泄恨心理反应，而寻求报复。<BR>　　<BR>　　强因爱妻绝情离他而去，这种内心的愤怒和痛苦无法向其妻子直接发泄，就把所有女性当成了发泄对象。也就是说，把对妻子的憎恨转移到别的女性身上。这种因离婚而发生的转移作用如果表现过度，便会害人害己，给社会带来一定的危害。<BR>　　<BR>　　<B>心理处方：</B><BR>　　<BR>　　（1）当事者应明白，两个人的婚姻是一种契约关系。婚变虽是一个坎，但你不要把它想成是一个根本不可逾越的巨大鸿沟，它跟你在生活中遇到的其他各种各样的事情一样，你必须面对它、处理它。<BR>　　<BR>　　台湾漫画家朱德庸说过的一句话非常好：“失忆、失恋、失婚以至我们在爱情里所受的苦，都不过是一块跳板，令你成长。”如果所有这些挫折、经历、痛苦都能够成为激励你成长的事情，那么你的人生就会不断进步，你就不会觉得自己生活在一个最悲惨的处境中，你就可以不记前嫌，以一颗平静的心看待你的前配偶，从而正确面对离婚后的生活。<BR>　　<BR>　　（2）要学会向人倾诉。应多与亲朋好友谈谈知心话，但不要用过多的怪罪语言。通过把自己的愤懑、伤心、失望倾吐出来以后，随着心理负荷的释放，心情也会随之慢慢地平静下来。<BR>　　<BR>　　（3）用理智战胜情感。利用反向思维，多想想自己的长处和优势，克服自暴自弃心理，到生活中去重新赢得爱情，使自我得到升华和更新，像歌德、贝多芬那样，从失恋的痛苦中解脱出来，立志去创造辉煌<p><center></center></p></span>
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